Uncover What Matters

Our world (and lives for that matter) are filled with so much clutter. Amid the clutter we struggle to uncover what really matters. The to-do lists, driving kids to school and extracurriculars, the home remodel, job obligations, and cell phone rings and dings rise to the top of what matters in our lives. However, these "things" are not actually the most important. 

Sometimes we take for granted that our lives are forever. However, we have a limited time in our physical bodies, so why would we focus so much on the material aspects at the expense of love, relationships, goodwill, and peace? 

This month I came to some important crossroads, which forced me to take a hard look at what really matters in my life. I had to do some digging because I have a lot of lists. However, in my process of uncovering my debris, I discovered some precious gems. Are you ready to uncover what matters?

Find The Blessings in YOUR life

**Alert** This article is a tear jerker and a soul lifter at the same time. Recently, I came across this article written by Cis White for the New England Journal of Medicine. Cis was diagnosed with ovarian cancer several years ago and is undergoing clinical trial treatment. This article is the most authentic account of a person going through a life and death health struggle that I have ever read. The honesty, visceral expression of feelings, and wake-up call Cis gives to readers is something everyone should read. Part of uncovering what matters in our lives is listening to the wake-up call others give us every day---and listening while we still have time to make changes. 

Every year I have an MRI scan to check the status of my Crohn's Disease. While I don't have ovarian cancer, I understand the day-to-day worry, dedication, and emotional drain of having a chronic condition which has "no cure." Cis' honesty really forced me to ask myself if I am living my life in a way that matters? Do I focus on what is most important or do I stress the clutter? We have everything when we have our health. But so many of us don't have our health and many of us are living with life threatening conditions. Every day really counts. 

Assume The Best In Others

Recently, I found this podcast episode exploring the challenges of marriage. Not only does this episode describe the history of marriage and how our expectations for partners has evolved (incrementally increased), but the episode called out some important tips as we uncover what is important. The Fundamental Attribution Error, coined by sociologists, is when we assume people behave in an undesirable way because they have a character flaw. However, in this episode, the experts point out that our quality of life would be much better if we did not assume the worst in others. Instead, when others disappoint us (ie. a spouse or partner), we should assume there are other factors such as a long day at work, stomach ache, too much on their mind, financial stress that caused their undesirable behavior. Never assume they are just "a bad person." 

Find Ways To Make A Difference

We spend a lot of time focused on ourselves and our needs. However, when we provide community service, lend a helping hand to a person in need, or merely listen to other people's life experiences, we step outside of ourselves and move into the greater good of the universe. Everything we do affects everyone else. Right now, I am helping the Greenville Community, which lost everything in the Dixie Fire last year. Greenville has hundreds of cats/kittens who have been multiplying and suffering since the fire destroyed their homes. When I help other creatures and humans, I remember how much I am part of a whole. At the end of the day, making a difference during the time we have here on earth is ultimately what matters. 

Thank you for subscribing to The Spark.

My name is Casey Hersch. I am a licensed clinical social worker and founder of LightYourSparkle.Life.  When I created the Light Your Sparkle community, the connections between childhood trauma and autoimmune disease inspired me. Several years later, my mission to bring awareness to these connections remains even as I expand this community to include anyone who seeks hope, perspective, companionship, and empowerment. 

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