The Art of Saying No: Lessons from a Caregiver

caregiver says noArticle Written by Tracy Dalgleish, Phd 

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

There it is again. Another person asks me for help. There’s a sharp pull inside of me to stop what I am doing and give.

And the internal struggle comes up.

I should just say yes and help them. What’s it take to write out a few text lines? An extra phone call? It’s not so bad, I tell myself. You are, after all, a caregiver.

My internal voice is so strong. It has been with me for a long time, this voice.

Then I feel my shoulders tense. I feel my breath begin to shorten. And a lightheaded feeling takes over. These are my early warning signs that I am taking on too much.

It has taken me some time to realize that this is what happens when I take on a lot and say yes—and that there is a significant cost to me. It stops me from getting my work done. I am not engaged and present when I am playing with my children. I am short with my husband. It derails my priorities. And it stops me from looking after myself.

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self loathArticle Written by Jo Barrington

Self-loathing is that underlying feeling that we are just not good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good at – or for –much of anything. It can be subtle, we may habitually compare ourselves to others, for instance, constantly finding fault with ourselves and putting ourselves down, with no real awareness that there is anything amiss. Or, we may listen intently to our critical inner voice while it scolds and berates us, telling us how embarrassing, stupid, or insensitive we are; refusing to challenge it even while we suffer from it.

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Predicting Adult Physical Illness from Infant Attachment:

pred adult illness childArticle Written by Jennifer Puig, Michelle M. Englund, Jeffry A. Simpson, and W. Andrew Collins
Health Psychology (2013) Vol 32(4) April 1, 2013
US National Library of Medicine

A Prospective Longitudinal Study



Recent epidemiological and longitudinal studies indicate that attachment relationships may be a significant predictor of physical health in adulthood. This study is among the few to prospectively link attachment classifications assessed in infancy to physical health outcomes thirty years later in adulthood, controlling for various health-related confounds.

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EMDR Therapy- proven effective for the treatment of trauma

Article Written by EMDR International Association

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. EMDR is a set of standardized protocols that incorporates elements from many different treatment approaches. As EMDR is a mental health intervention, it should only be offered by properly trained and licensed mental health clinicians. EMDRIA does not condone or support indiscriminate uses of EMDR such as a "do-it-yourself" virtual therapy.


Science confirms: Dancing makes you happy

dance and happyArticle Written By Jennifer Delgado, PhD. 

“Without music, life would be a mistake”, said Nietzsche, and he wasn’t entirely wrong because we have a natural instinct that leads us to follow the rhythm of the music. In fact, most children move and clap their hands when they hear a song they like. It is a spontaneous response related to our need to communicate and express our emotions through the movement and the body.

There is no doubt that music is a universal language and everyone, except the people who suffer from amusia, is able to appreciate and enjoy it. In fact, it was discovered that people of different cultures react emotionally in the same way when listening to different types of music. So, it is no coincidence that anthropological studies indicate that groups who were more likely to survive were those who had developed a particular dance and were able to share their feelings dancing.

Of course, music and dance not only serve as social glue, but are also very useful for our physical and mental health. Recent studies revealed that one of the keys to happiness and satisfaction is right on the dance floor.

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How to Find the Best Therapist for You

Therapy fit photo

I really like this article because it highlights how to find a therapist that is the best fit for you. I could not agree more with the suggestions.  Finding a therapist is very personal and important and just because someone you know may like a therapist, doesn't mean it is a good fit for you. 

Article Written by Tracey Cleantis, LMFT  February 16, 2011 Psychology Today

The Mind-Gut Connection

emotion 4Article Written by Carey Goldberg September 16, 2016

Could Your Gut Microbes Be Affecting How You Feel?

I’d just gotten used to the idea that I’m a walking mountain of microbes. The sizzling field of research into the microbiome — our full complement of bugs — is casting new light on our role as homes to the trillions of bacteria that inhabit each of us. At least most of them are friendly, I figured.

But now comes the next microbial shift in my self-image, courtesy of the new book “The Mind-Gut Connection.” My trillions of gut microbes, it seems, are in constant communication with my brain, and there’s mounting evidence that they may affect how I feel — not just physically but emotionally.

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